We’re now a few weeks into 2017 and so far I feel amazing and incredibly BLESSEDT. The past year (2016) was a pivotal point in my life. Yes, the year was challenging for me, but it was also a year of growth. 2016 taught me how to love myself FORREAL. I also learned how to put more VALUE in myself and less into shit that just doesn’t matter. So here is my 2016 Review:
SELF LOVE & THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF ESTEEM
I’ll be very honest, 2016 started out SHITTY for me. I was still strung up on my ex of two years and UGH. I was just a mess lol. My self-esteem was SHOT! I was still very dependent on other people’s opinions and approval to validate me. It was also during this time that I took a social media fast and really did some self-searching and self-evaluation. It wasn’t til further on in the year, however, that I truly grasped and was intentional with my self-love journey. I think that people have this misconceived idea that self-esteem is just something that happens, when in fact it is a process. You don’t just turn 21 and know everything or become the person you dream of. You have to take the time and effort into figuring out what it is that you want and in some cases re-writing a lot of things that you once believed. For me, I had to change my spiritual diet. I was starving (spiritually) from a whole bunch of LIES that I either told myself or believed in from other people. Once I cut off that part of my diet I began to substitute it with affirmations, perseverance, and the cut dry TRUTH. It changed my whole perception on life and how I let people handle me because I finally KNOW WHO I AM.
RELATIONSHIPS | FRIENDS, LOVE, & EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN
If you have that one special person in your life that you can truly depend on and call “best friend”, THANK GOD for that! I am SO incredibly thankful for some of the most amazing women that I have been blessed to be in the presence of. These women have truly provided me with outstanding testimonies of victory, trials, and transformation and they were definitely ROCKS for me. This year was the start of my love for traveling and adventures (featuring my BFF, Ashley 😀 )
And with the good aspects of relationships , there also comes the not so good aspects. 2016 taught LOVE. Self-love, relational love, self-less love, I felt it all. I got my heartbroken. I tried to force relationships. Wrong move. The world had to humble me. I really had to learn that a lot of the shit I be worried about or upset over, really is out control.
WOMANHOOD | SEXUALITY, FEMINISM, & ALL THINGS BEAUTY RELATED
This year I made the decision to be a bad ass bitch. Internally, I glo’d up, majorly and that was beginning to reflect itself outwardly. Little things that I used to think were so negative about myself like the complexion of my skin, my nose, my weight, my body shape — whatever — they all became very insignificant to me. I’m little/slender and I’m dark skin. I’m not super thick and oiled down and that’s OK. I feel like though I witnessed more representation and love for dark skin women in 2016…there was still some unnecessary standards set (i.e.- super thick and oiled down). That’s not going to be every single dark skin woman and it damn sure wasn’t me.
2016 also proved to be the year of hair experiments for me and I loved it. I learned to embrace my beautiful, multi-textured, natural hair as I wore it in all it’s glory several times throughout the year. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my wigs and weaves and braids but it’s really nothing like being able to have your scalp breathe and just rock that puff out. Had me out here looking like a fineapple ;). Another new risk for me was venturing into color! And wigs were absolutely GREAT for that because I didn’t have to worry about damaging my hair with spur of the moment dye jobs or later on regret getting scissor happy. Little things like changing my hair or even experimenting with make-up looks helped build confidence in me and it was just overall refreshing!
I’m going to be extremely honest with y’all, last year I finally felt like a grown woman. The little girl, fairy-tale, make-believe mindset was definitely crushed but it was so necessary. I need to be UNCOMFORTABLE. I needed to burn in the fire a little in order to elevate and grow myself. I had to kill a lot of false ideals that I had of myself and that I was taught. I’ve learned what my definition of womanhood means and it’s more than just my anatomical body parts. It’s OK for me to be sensitive. Sensitivity doesn’t make me weak. I can be both strong and sensitive and it is within my vulnerability that I AM STRONG. Additionally, there is so much shit that I really just can’t, don’t, and won’t give a flying fuck about. Why? Because I can’t control outside forces and I damn sure can’t control another human being. All I can really do is be authentic, genuine, and forthcoming. The rest is up to the other person. And if I ever feel like I can’t fully be myself around someone or I have to force them/beg someone to see me and the goodness that is me, it’s clearly not meant to be. EVERYTHING SHOULD BE NATURAL. Human-BEing.
….And then there was God. Towards the end of 2016 I completely questioned God, my purpose, and things got kind of dark with me. I’ve noticed that when I am wrapped up and carried away with other people and their issues or life just gets in the way, I just drop the ball on God. This year, I am making more of a committment to include God versus putting God on the checklist. I know that when my spirit isn’t aligned with what I KNOW God has planned for me, it is very easy for me to be blinded. Moving forward, that is going to be something that I pay closer attention to and take extremely seriously. I am excited and ready to see what He has in store for me!
WHEW! And there it is, my (long overdue) 2016 in Review! CHEERS to 2017! The year of #ApplyingPressure & TAKING RISKS!