What does it mean to be a woman? Is being a woman contingent on the appearance of my body — the size and perkiness of my breasts or the firmness of my derriere? Is being a woman based on the old school “tradition” of being a domesticated housewife? To be a woman, am I defined by my relationships and whether or not I can get and keep a man? Am I to be married at a certain age and birth children? Is a woman some sort of demure creature who’s sexuality is only to be regulated by the confinement and standards of a patriarchal (and sexist) society? What are the makings of a woman?
Being a woman is more than the summation of my anatomical body parts. To me, being a woman, is to be a complex human being. I embody various roles, characteristics, and values apart from the conformed belief. I am dynamic and complicated. There is so much strength in being a woman — the ability to be vulnerable and soft while being strong, bold, and determined. I used to be ashamed of my sensitivity and longed to be a “savage” type of woman but there is a very special strength in being able to be vulnerable.
The transition from young girl to young woman hasn’t been a particularly seamless one for me. I have had to overcome a lot of life’s obstacles and curve balls but overcoming those hard times built character in me. I know what it’s like to go through painful situations, to be depressed, to want to give up and I also know what it is like to be a SURVIVOR. I think that insecurity derives from not knowing who you are/what you want from life. As I have made this transition into womanhood, I have learned (and valued) the process. I have learned to take responsibility and accountability for the type of life that I want. NO ONE DEFINES ME. I am not a robot. I am autonomous. I am a creator. So often we talk of the “glo-up”; the physical change from basic to baddie but my glo-up mentally is much more meaningful to me. This year is the year that I came out of my shell. I blossomed into the very woman I have constantly talked about on this blog and I’m not done yet. I have learned the true value of SELF: self-worth, self-appreciation, and self-care.
I love being a woman and I am relishing in the woman that I am becoming. FEARLESS. SEXY. CAREFREE. I love challenging this notion that I can be put into some sort of box or be one dimensional. I am sexy and goofy; confident and meek. I am fierce and I love my body and I will accentuate my curves how and when I please. I’ll whisper something naughty in a man’s ear in one moment and then write a poem on the Black Genocide in the next. There is just something incredibly sexy and exhilarating about a woman who cannot be ‘controlled’ or kept down. I am that woman.
My definition of womanhood is in no means definitive. Hell, it may not be the definition that a lot of women may seek for themselves. Womanhood is subjective. All I know is that being a woman, a BLACK WOMAN at that, is one of the greatest blessings that I could ever have.