2014: Year of Reflection

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As this year winds down and I reflect on all that’s happened up until this point, I feel pretty excited for 2015. I have learned so much about myself this year and I have experienced a lot of amazing (and not so amazing) moments in my life. I’ve never been a big believer or promoter of “New Years Resolutions” because they all seem so cheesy and seem to center around this one basic, central theme which is ‘New Year, New Me’ [supreme eye roll]. I personally believe that if you waited til the end of the year to “change“, then you are already behind. Change should be ever evolving and a constant evolutionary process. I believe that if you aren’t evolving, then you are doing yourself a tremendous disservice as well as hindering your own growth.

tumblr_ngjg1ugUBs1tt6aw9o1_400This year, a multitude of things transpired that I wasn’t really pleased with. Some things were completely out of my control and others — well, I feel like I could have handled those particular situations with more tact. This year I learned the true art of forgiveness, especially in pertinence to myself. I think that I’ve finally reached that point in my life where the old me — scared, timid, attention seeking, love thirsty — part of me is dying. The transition from young girl to young woman is beginning to render itself. I would constantly have this paradoxical ambient notion of my sense of self; these clashing personas between who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I was becoming. Frankly, I was tiring of being the ‘wallflower‘, the girl in the background who was inevitably apprehensive about every little single thing that I did and said. As a young girl, my focus was more on the approval and validation of people (men especially). I always had this idea of what love was and how my life would come together as this fairy tale, happy ever after story, and unfortunately enough for me, that is just not how life played out. At least not MY life. I am learning that relationships do not equate success. I can be successful WITHOUT being in a relationship. My life and worth as person is neither defined nor valued by anyone else but myself and my God. Relationships are wishy-washy and no one should ever have so much control in my life that when they leave it just messes up my entire energy. It’s okay to grieve, but at a time, I just have to be ok with the idea of everything NOT lasting forever..

1375243_10200503177930707_1380163681_nThis year really taught me to let go of the young minded child that I was and to
fully embrace my role as a WOMAN. And not just embrace my womanhood, but also ENGAGE in it. I learned that it is absolutely okay for me to go at my own pace, never give up on myself and to be ok with my own personal journey. I’m not competing with anyone else. I just strive to better myself. I am paving my way and defining exactly who it is that I want to be. I am my brand. Everything that I do in life must cater to my vision — the end goal. Often, we tend to wander through life just hoping to stumble across success or worse, we become envious of what others have on their plate and begin to resent our life, circumstances, and even God because we feel like our plate is perpetually empty. Instead, we could be feeding ourselves. We all have the same amount of time in a day, but it is just about the way that we utilize it. If we were to be totally honest with ourselves and 148625_3960723865267_991530959_ncritique ourselves with an extreme amount of truthfulness, we would see just where our time is going. Are you spending more time sleeping or grinding? The time to live according to the vision that we have envisioned for ourselves is NOW, not 2015. We can start making those changes RIGHT NOW. Whether that is to cut some people off or invite some people in to encourage, uplift, and propel us to our dream, that time is NOW. Time and patience is essential to this growth. I think that more often than most, I get so tiresome and bored ‘waiting’ for my life to take off. I feel like at best, I’m running in place, but life doesn’t have to be that way. It takes effort. And as much as I loathe having to ‘do things by the book‘, it’s important to do things in order sometimes. (i.e.- take care of yourself FIRST before you pursue or even THINK of adding another person into your life). Stepping into this newfound role of womanhood, I strive to fully explore my femininity and completely enjoy it. I will define my sexy and own it. That’s really important — owning who you are and making no excuses or apologies for it. Period.

This year brought about some great accomplishments for me, no matter how small or insignificant it may be to anyone else. They’re my goals and desires and the fact that they came to pass just really motivates me to dream even bigger so I can achieve even more in this upcoming year. Towards the end of this year as I hit a couple of hiccups in my life, I noticed that my posts seemed to get angrier and bitter. With time, I plan on improving my outlook to be more positive and uplifting. I plan on being better, doing better, and viewing different situations with a new P.O.V.

2015: The Year of Betterment.

Better finances. Better relationships. Better opportunities.

This year will be proverbial and filled with testimonial lessons. I expect this year to be indulged in great challenges, as well as great victories. This time, I encourage these challenges and wholly embrace them. The fear of pain and hurt and disappointment has always been something that I’ve tried to avoid, but once you live long enough, you learn that no matter what, a day is going to come when you have to go through hardships and there is absolutely no way around that. Either you face your challenges head strong and defeat them or you cower away and whither into nothingness. 2015 is the year that we discover our purpose and relish in it whilst walking with our heads held high, brows on fleek and most of all we are spiritually free from negative bondages/ties.

So long as there is life in you, then you are too young to give up. God ain’t finished with me yet, and neither is HE finished with you. Once you’ve fulfilled your sole purpose on this earth, then and only then will the mission be complete.

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