I. Am. ANGRY. I am angry about a lot of things that are happening in my life. I am angry that my relationship failed, I am angry about the way I treat myself as well as how others treat me and overall I am just angry about where I am spiritually in my life. I don’t feel fulfilled. I feel as though I am just sliding by life and I am kind of blowing with the wind as it goes. I do not feel valued at all by the people who I love dearly in my life and it is absolutely frustrating! I keep looking for a solution to deal with all the things that are currently going up but it seems as though the solution is impossible to achieve. Either that or I simply am not searching hard enough. I hate feeling like I am so misunderstood and that no one understands me. It absolutely sucks. I know that I have God but sometimes I crave for that humanistic understanding but it just shows up to be inevitable. With time, I silenced myself, muted my feelings, and put band-aids over all my wounds. I mean, seriously. What is the point of trying to express myself if the people I express myself to don’t care or try to understand me? If it is just “too hard for them to deal with” or if they don’t want to hear me out or talk to me because they’re life is too important or they don’t want to mope around. Honestly, I don’t see how I’m “moping around” when I am allowing myself to feel. I am not afraid of my emotions anymore; Good Bad or Ugly. I just want to feel, heal, let the situation go, and move on. But how can I move on when I am forever forced into a life of detrimental and absolute silence? I want to find a resolution, so I am making that conscious effort to open up more and keep on talking. #Shame #The #Devil.
If that means I have to go to some dark places in order to bring some aide/comfort to somebody else, then I will. Let MY life be a living testimony of how I went through the worse, through the lows of lows, and through the valleys before I could move my mountains and reach my highs and obtain all the glories that were designed for me. Let me unlock and tap into my potential.